Ha!

Dear Mr. and/or Mrs. Sender
We're pleased to inform you that your application's been accepted
Starting from the time you get this letter
Your life will be one never-ending
"Hope you're feeling better"

You get your choice of an aesthetic
Ah, ah, ah, ah
We'll need to chop your clock off
Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock
It might not be what you expected
Ohh-oh-oh
There is no money back once you've been ripped off, ripped off, ripped off

Today's a very special day
Ohh-oh
The boys'll murder for it, but what will the neighbors say?
It leaves you feeling pretty hollow
It might be nice to look at
Don't forget you're stuck with it tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow

You're big enough to stop pretending
You'll start to really show within a week or so
So don't go saying it's just come to your attention
Ohh-oh-oh
You'll get more than you're asking for without the right protection

Today's a very special day
Ohh-oh
And how you'd love to have a little thing with which to play
But love won't get you very far, oh
Today be still your beating heart
You'll have to keep on feeding it tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow

Boys will be boys
Will be boys will be boys
Will be boys will be boys
Will be girls
With no warning, ah-ah
Girls will be girls
Will be guys
Will be boys
That don't cry
Over toys
That they use
To beat girls
They despise
By the morning, oh
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you

No second thoughts, the knife is nearing
You'll never hear the little pitter-patter, pitter-patter
Of this little feat of engineering
Ohh-oh-oh
Of course I love you, and of course it's what's inside that matters

But I think the whole charade is ending
Ah, ah, ah
It seems to me to be the only way to keep from getting
Caught up in a long life of regretting
The doctors said that once you get a taste for it you'll keep on cutting

But while we happen to be here
Ohh-oh
Why don't you whisper all those sweet forevers in my ear
Stiff upper lip in all this sorrow
Hurry up and stick it in
You never know when it will end tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow or tomorrow or tomorrow
Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow
End tomorrow, end tomorrow, end tomorrow

Ohh-oh
They always said that sex would change you, change you, change you, change you
Ha!