(Parody of Twelve Days Of Christmas)


On the first day of Christmas my company gave to me
A pink slip for under the tree

On the second of Christmas my company gave to me
Two days to pack
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the third day of Christmas my company gave to me
Three Bic pens
Is that right two days to pack?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the fourth day of Christmas, I gave my company
Four letter words
Three more pens
Well I'm gonna take this lamp too, then
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the fifth day of Christmas my company gave to me
Five days of sleep
Four letters words
Got three bic pens
And this stapler and my coat rack and...
A pink slip for under the tree

On the sixth day of Christmas, my company gave to me
Six months of Cobra
Five days of sleep
Wake up you freaking monkey, it's almost break time!
Oh, thanks. Is the roach coach here yet?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the seventh day of Christmas my company gave to me
Seven checks a-bouncing, oh, dear!
Six months of Cobra
Five days of sleep
I got your bonus right here!
Three lousy pens
I'm calling security
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the eighth day of Christmas my company gave to me
Eight hours of drinking
I have never bounced a check in my life
Five day of sleep
You big Goofbag!
Bunch of sticky notes
Can I at least keep thee pocket protector?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the ninth day of Christmas my company gave to me
Nine cans a cat food
Eight hours of drinking
Could you not breathe on me please?
I can't afford Cobra
Five days of sleep
Four festive words
Three Bic pens
Only two days to pack
And a pink slip for under the tree
I got a blue one

On the tenth day of Christmas my company gave to me
Ten workers weeping
There, there missy, it's gonna' get a lot worse than this
God, I hope my kids don't get sick
Want some cat food?
Five days of sleep
Bite me!
Do I hear sexual harassment?
Would you help me carry this copier to my car, please?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the eleventh day of Christmas my company gave to me
Eleventh hour pleading
Ten workers weeping
You know I know a guy that'll hire all three of you girls, sight unseen
And you get to work with a cobra, imagine that!
Five days of sleep
Four letter words
I'm warning you!
Can't we all just get along?
And a pink slip for under the tree

On the twelfth day of Christmas my company gave to me
Twelve employees bumming
I know girls, I know
Say, you girls need a ride home? I got my par carked right out front?
Five days of sleep
I gave this place the best years of my life and they gave me the shaft!
And a pink slip for under the tree
Tree? What tree? We're not gonna be able to afford a tree!