I been Norman Mailer'd, Maxwell Taylor'd.
I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd.
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind.
I been Ayn Rand'd, nearly branded
Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed.
That's the hand I use, well, never mind!

I been Phil Spector'd, resurrected.
I been Lou Adler'd, Barry Sadler'd.
Well, I paid all the dues I want to pay.
And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce,
And all my wealth won't buy me health,
So I smoke a pint of tea a day.

I knew a man, his brain was so small,
He couldn't think of nothing at all.
He's not the same as you and me.
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
When you say "Dylan", he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas
Whoever he was.
The man ain't got no culture,
But it's all right, ma,
Everybody must get stoned.

I been Mick Jagger'd, silver daggered.
Andy Warhol, won't you please come home?
I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled,
Been Roy Halee'd and Art Garfunkel'd.
I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone