I did not ask for a lot this year
Every single day
Looking for an answer to the words you say
Never got to meet the President
Never got to shake his squirly hand
Oh, don`t you know the President
Is out for tea with Tony Blair
He won`t be back for hours maybe, homeboy

I`d be so happy if I got to meet George Bush
He`s like an angel when Rebecca hears me calling
I would dance on NBC and say
`George Bush shook hands with me`
Then I`d go and choke on a cock

And Guinevere would find me leaving home
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone
And Johnny Depp would call me on the phone, I know
I`d be the greatest singer on the radio

Leaning on the raging river flats
Sliding off a single blade of grass
Oh, don`t you know the A.D.A.
Is brushing teeth with Johnny J
They won`t be smashing flowers, meet me no more

I`d be so happy if I bid it all on you
And never answer when Rebecca asks me questions
I`d lay down to some degree
And say John Stern locked lips with me
And then I`d go and choke
For then I`d go and choke
For then I`d go and choke on a cock