My big day, it was the biggest day of my life
It was the summit of my long career
But I felt so down, and I drank too much beer
The management said that I shouldn't appear
I walked out onto the stage and started to speak
The first night I've missed for a couple of years
I explained to the crowd and they started to jeer
And just when I wanted no one to be there

All of my friends were there
Not just my friends, but their best friends too
All of my friends were there to stand and stare
Say what they may
All of their friends need not stay
Those who laughed were not friends anyway
All of my friends were there to stand and stare

Days went by, I walked around dressed in a disguise
I wore a mustache and I parted my hair
And gave the impression that I did not care
But oh, the embarrassment, oh, the despair
Came the day, helped with a few large glasses of gin
I nervously mounted the stage once again
Got through my performance and no one complained
Thank God I can go back to normal again

I went to that old café
Where I had been in much happier days
And all of my friends were there
And no one cared
Say what they may, all of my friends were there
Not just my friends, but their best friends too
All of my friends were there
Now I don't care