Miss Riley had a dog
She used to keep it in her back yard
And when the dog began to bark
All the neighbours began to shout
Then came a stormy night, Miss Riley let her dog out
And when the neighbours found him 'round
They put a gun down his mouth and shot him down
And he went: oooh wow, bow wow, oooh wow, bow wow

Miss Murphy had a cat, on her lap it sat
And once in a great big while
And once in a great big while
It looked like that Cheshire cat did smile
But one day it got so hot
That Cheshire cat had a blood clot
And she said: oooh meow meow, oooh meow meow

Then the dog met the cat
The dog was hot and the cat was met
Then came some sweaty dude
He put a board between the two
Then they couldn't get at it, got frustrated all about it
So they did the only thing you could do
They took the dude's sweat and shot it up between the two
And they said: oooh wow, bow wow meow, oooh wow, bow wow meow