(Parody of As Years Go By by The Rolling Stones)


I used to come here everyday
I'll have the usual. Uh, make it a triple.
And to the porcelain god I'd pray
Oh, dear God, please not again!
I was butt-faced constantly
That was the life for me
Now I sit and watch as beers go by
Uh, could I get another Club Soda, please?

My newfound lifestyle really stinks
Hey, you know what? Make it a Shirley Temple instead.
I only order virgin drinks
Miss, you think you could do this without the umbrellas?
And I really miss the sound
Of throwing up and falling down
I sit and watch as beers go by

You know, my lawyer says in a few months my insurance will go down. You know, which is kinda nice. And, you know I am saving a lot of money. And on top of that, I haven't woken up with an ugly woman in like eight months. Kind of a nice benefit, you know? So I got a lot going for me now. I think, you know?

I miss the things I used to do
I miss my brew
I sit watch as beers go by

Man you used to be a lot of fun. What happened?

Nothing happened. Just' Why don't you go bug somebody else, okay?