The temptation is all too great
To know it's gone and it's all too late
I tried and I tried, I never applied
Any of the morals that I wish I had

You wait fifty one weeks
Through all of your hides and all of your seeks
When the time finally arrives
It dawns on me that your attention derives
From the girlfriend that you left at home
Sitting in your living room all alone

You hate the suntan
And you can't stand to be around the short sleeve man
And the gaggle of girls who are singing too loud
Well they do my head in

You hate the tattoos and you can't handle the skinheads
The ones who cannot handle their booze
Their making you scared to be proud
Are your scared to be proud
How can that still be
Come sing your heart out with me

But if you bide your time and you stand there and you wait in line
It won't be long before her sarong is lying on your bedroom floor
But what about your girlfriend that you left at home
Sitting in her living room all alone

You hate the suntan
And you can't stand to be around the short sleeve man
And the gaggle of girls who are singing dead loud
Well they do my head in

You hate the tattoos and you can't handle the skinheads
The ones who cannot handle their booze
Their making you scared to be proud
How is that still allowed?
That your scared to be proud
When your on cloud number 9

And the girlfriend that you left at home
Sitting in her living room all alone

You hate the suntan
And you can't stand to be around the short sleeve man
And the gaggle of girls who are singing too loud
They fuckin' do my head in

You hate the tattoos and you can't handle the skinheads
The ones who cannot handle their booze
And their making you scared to be proud
Oh your scared to be proud
When your on cloud number 9?