These are your orders -
Seems like it's do it or die
So please read them closely
When you've read them be sure that you eat them up -
They're specially flavoured
With Burgundy, Tizer and Rye
Twelve sheets of foolscap: don't ask me why.

We hit the jungle
Just as it starts to monsoon:
Our maps showed no rainfall
All the boys were depressed by this circumstance
"Trust in the weather" said less agricultural men
Who gives birth to more farmhands, don't ask me why.

Fifteen was chosen because he was dumb,
Seven because he was blind:
I got the job because I was so mean,
While somehow appearing so kind.
Drifting about through the cauliflower trees
With a cauliflower ear for the birds,
The squadron assembled what senses they had
And this is the sound that they heard...

Back at headquarters,
Khaki decisions are made
File under "Futile":
That should give you its main point of reference
It's all so confusing, what with pythons and then deadly flies
But to them, it's a picnic
Don't ask me why.

Thirteen was chosen because of his luck,
Eleven because of his feet:
One got signed up for exceptional pluck,
Another because he was mute.
Roaming about through the gelatine swamps
With a gelatine eye on the stripes,
The squadron assembled what senses they had
And this is the sound that they heard...

Back in Blighty, there was you
There were milkmen every morning
But these endless shiny trees, never used to be that way.
Back in Blighty, there was you,
There were milkmen every morning
But these endless shiny trees,
Never used to be that way.