Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and fate

I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

Stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a generals rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I watched the gleam
While you kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the Goth they made

I shouted out
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid tracks for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners Saints
As I end this tale
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy and some taste
Use all your well learned qualities
Or I'll lay your soul to waste