Clutching the phone till my hands were sore
I never understood pain before, Christopher
You cannot know what it does to me
Hearing you speak with this frequency

I never knew what one voice could do
I was in heaven the moment I heard you
My friends go out drinking and having fun -
I stay in bed with my headphones on

Shot down with arrows from waves above
Christopher Lydon renounced my love

It took so long to get through to you
I never understood sorrow, and now I do
I finally got past your monitor
You broke my heart in two, Christopher

Christopher, I was your listener, Christopher
I've never felt love like this before, Christopher
Christopher, now and forevermore, Christopher
I'll never stop saying Christopher, Christopher

Finally I knew what I had to do
I had to make the connection with you
I don't care if your old and incontinent
I will be yours till the bitter end...

So during a show about Joan of Arc
I got through and said:
"Christopher Lydon, you've stolen my heart"
When I asked if you felt the same way for me
You cut me off like a guillotine

Drawn like a bull to a matador-
I just see visions of Christopher
Shot down by arrows from waves above
Christopher Lydon renounced my love

Christopher, I was your prisoner, Christopher
I hope you're happy now, Christopher
Thank you for everything, but I'm not listening anymore nor do I plan to contribute to NPR
Christopher, beautiful, Christopher
I'm the girl you've been waiting for