(Clarke / Hicks / Nash)
[Chorus:]
Dear Eloise, I am writing to say
A number of funny thing I heard today.
I heard that he's left you and run off to sea.
Could be the best thing that's happened to me.

Writing a letter to make you feel better.
Sorry to hear that he left you that way.
I could have told you, he was much older,
So much older than you.

You rushed blindly, he treated you kindly
Until he found out what he could get from you.
You should have departed before he got started.
Now you've been burned just like I said you would.

Please read my letter closely.
It's beneficial, too.
You must read in-between the lines,
A message you will see.
If you use your mind, you'll find
I want you back with me.

[Verse 2]

So much older than you, so much older than you.

[Chorus]