I was driving through the night
Into an endless tunnel of fog
When it dawned on me something was wrong
I was in a trance, hypnotized

Bored beyond belief, I was listening to the same old song
I know every lick, every word every nuance
I'm on first name terms with the crew
But I'd better get used to this poop du jour
Sure as hell they won't play anything new

Oh yes, I love you really
Classic Rock Radio
Oh, my dear it's time for bed
Time for you to go
Everyone is asleep

The pirates took to the water stole the charts
But sadly that didn't go down well with those upstairs
Who require loyalty, the establishment considered
That the uncontrolled appreciation of music

Was a danger to royalty, the mighty empire roared
As Cash 'n' Everitt on the high seas
Looked like they'd get blown out of the water
They did of course eventually come ashore
As meek as mice or to be more accurate as lambs to the slaughter

Oh yes, I love you really
I stand to attention
Oh, Fanny, I love you dearly
Something else I should mention?
You sweet thing

Let's not talk about MTV
I don't even want to start
I want to take a look at Classic Rock Radio
We're talking about the state of the art

Mr Grover 'n' Mr Gillian
You musta made a million
The night that Frank Zappa caught on fire
Could you tell us all about it

Keep it short and use my version
Or everyone out there'll think I'm a liar
We can speak about bananas for one second

Just because I understand
You have to get them off your chest
But in the meantime while you're talking
Could you do some more of these here ID's
And then this station might maintain some interest

Oh yes, I love you dearly
But why do you exist?
Oh yes, I love you really
Is there something that I missed?