My lover crossed the river
And that's the route she chose
Heard you can get anything you want
When you go where anything goes
She made her way to Diablo
The most dangerous place on Earth
But my girl didn't care too much about that
She was there to prove her worth

She jumped into the fighting pit
Her knuckles pickled in brine
Beat up Guts Mackenzie
Celebrated with a bucket of wine
She fell into the glitter pool
Got whisky in her ear
In the nick of time was rescued
By a passing gondolier

For once in your life
Why don't you
Throw away all of those plans
Hands over your eyes
Leap out of the fire
Into the pan

My lover came back home
With two sore tits and a gappy-tooth smile
Displayed her belt in the hardware store
Told the story of her trial
If you ever go to Diablo
In the lower depths of Hell
And live your life in one short week
And return with a tale to tell

Whoo, yeah-yeah
Aw-yeah-yeah, yeah-yeah, ah-yeah-yeah, ah-yeah-yeah, ah-ah-bow-bow