Once I woke up mild mannered and shy;
Passed in the pub and I didn't know why
Made a sharp turn and I hooked a b-line
For the tender minute mender, bad news sender, liquid vendor

After twice his normal dose
He thought he'd go make the most
In mid-stride of a vague adventure
Hangin' from a stranger's
Tenth floor balcony

It wasn't me;
It must have been
My evil... my evil twin
It wasn't me;
It must have been
My evil twin... my evil...

Push came to shove, and the stranger decided she could fly
Saw you in a cornfield two days
Later, with a scarecrow
In old cobb

It wasn't me
It must have been
My evil... my evil twin
It wasn't me
It must have been
My evil twin... my evil...

And I'm not capable of that kind of sin
And I'm not capable of that kind of death wishin'

It wasn't me
It must have been
My evil... my evil twin
It wasn't me
It must have been
My evil... my evil twin
It wasn't me
It must have been
My evil twin... my evil...
It wasn't me
It must have been
My evil twin... my evil...
It wasn't me
It must have been
My evil... my evil twin