(Ron & Russell Mael)
Well, I married a Martian
And boy, am I sorry

Well, she came down from the sky
She couldn't stand the attitude there
She took human form, not bad
She seemed different
She had a European flair
And I said, "where you from?"
And she said, she said, "I'm from Mars"

I married a Martian
Her loving is different
Viva la diff=E9rence
Every, every night
I married a Martian
I took her to Vegas
I dressed her in ermine
She had the time of her life

Though she called me Mister Right
I could sense something was wrong
She was hardly home at all
She'd keep telling me
She was doing studies of Earth
She had tendencies to flirt
And it really did hurt me

I married a Martian
Boy, am I sorry
I don't recommend it
To anyone in their right mind

I married a Martian
I think I see changes
I know I see changes
She doesn't look like our kind

Her arms, her legs,
Were growing and growing
Her form, once thin,
Was changing, was changing
I can't describe
The changes, so gruesome
She looked, she seemed
So Martian

I married a Martian
I'm going to Vegas
It isn't for pleasure
I'm getting a quickie divorce

I married a Martian
Boy, am I sorry
I don't recommend it
To anyone in their right mind

I married a Martian
Who was I kidding
She only had loved me
'Cause I was the first guy she saw

I married a Martian
And now it is over
Go back to your cronies
Back to your own form of life

I married a Martian
They're good in the movies
Dramatic potential
But they're not so hot in real life