(Ron & Russell Mael)
Turn out the light, yeah, the light
And I might have a chance
I guess I look slightly worse
Than the Elephant Man
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better

I went to high school
And majored in looking real bad
I got a real ugly mom
And a real ugly dad
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better

Dress for success
That's what they say
I'm such a mess
That there just ain't no way

I know my breath is the sweetest
It really is great
But when I try just to kiss you
You say "better wait"
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better

Dress for success
That's what they say
Gimme some clothes
To slap over my head

Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better

I went to Balboa Island
And laid in the sand
I may be ugly as sin
But at least now I'm tan

Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better
Whoa, oh, oh, I wish I looked a little better