[Songwriters: Michael Barson, Lee Jay Thompson]

Although he had past history
The mischief has soon passed
A spunky little kid from North West 5
Longed for the mystery to last

Free as the wind
Wild as a march hare
With oh so much to learn
Careful that you don't get burned

The boy who wouldn't grow up
Chasing his own tail
The boy who couldn't grow up
An outing on bail

Oh, idiot child clutching to life
Always made to grow up, always told to shut up
Idiot child clutching to life
Always destined to fail, always ending up in jail

Oh, behold the gherkin men
With their military stance did shout
Mark my words Mrs. Hutchinson
We'll sort this laddie out

The parent teachers association
Secretly fixed a date
A giant swoop is authorized
To sign and seal his fate

Oh, sent away for a year and a day
He was taken so orderly
And drilled into his delicate shell
To behave normally

Oh, idiot child clutching to life
The boy who never grew up, always told to shut up
Idiot child clutching onto life
Always destined to fail, always ending up in jail

Somethings are so predictable ain't they
Somethings just never change, look around
Most animals are trained at an early age
But some of us just never lay down

Idiot child just clutching to life
The boy who never grew up, always made to shut up
Idiot child clutching to life
Always destined to fail, always ending up in jail

Idiot child clutching to life
The boy who never grew up, always told to shut up
Idiot child clutching onto life
Always destined to fail, always ending up in jail
Always ending up in jail, always destined to fail