I been away for two years and a bit
I'm still sayin' what these niggas too scared to admit
Somebody asked me why I don't live in Newham anymore
I just had to move here, the view there was a myth
I'm just lookin' at my circle, like, if I died now, could I really put my money on who's there for my kids?
My jigga, I thought you was stand up nigga till a opp sent a shot and you was cheerin' for him
I'm at the age where my friendships are fragile
Glad I gotta someone I'm still agile
Last night, you see a man in Mayfair
Next day, it's Daddy Daycare, and death could only be the reason that daddy ain't there
I said, "Go and have some children," maybe you'll chill then
Or maybe you should focus on gettin' Molly until then
It's ironic boys havin' daughters made us real men
And all we wanna do is protect, teach and shield them
See, now, I got responsibilities, I'm havin' flashbacks of Mum bein' responsible for me
Thirty-eight with a .38, subtract twenty-seven, add one, what a problem it can be
What's a life when death's the only promise you can keep?
Gut feelin', my abdominal can speak
Last night it was impossible to sleep
I used to worry about the robbers and the thieves, now I'm worried 'bout the tax man
White Airforce and the money gettin' black, man, tryna stay clean
Mhm, they got me listenin' to rappers my age, talkin' like they're in their fuckin' late teens
See, I'm a man that's always had a vision, but bein' broke made me make bad decisions
What's a man with ambition and ammunition?
And a mission, fuck plannin' permission
I'm the builder and the architect
I design it then build it
I just still need to carpet it
I was into garage when I couldn't put a car in it
Now they askin' where I been, and the answer is, I just been behind the scenes ghost writin'
It's still me behind the bar like the barman is
It's still me behind the bar on the barber ting
Barking, it's still me behind half the marketin'
I'm in this, "What's next?" pinnacle vibe
I swear I really wanna let all the subliminals slide, I can't
See, I rather put these niggas in line than put these niggas in lines
All these niggas are lying, mmm
Some of them boy there got me living in their heads
Don't make me kill an MC, I make a living offa dem, oof
Granny could always see the villain in my friends
I still say, "Free the brothers" like they're innocent men, hmm
I'm lookin' back at moments I should've cherished
The journey and the soldiers we buried
When Darren and Jordan got hitched, I had a twenty-bag show and didn't go to the weddin'
I feel like I've got a album full of stories I really ain't supposed to be tellin'
I watched nanny die slowly, I looked in her eyes and she was closer to Heaven
Pronounced dead the same day I shot Proud family
Then a year after that, cancer try kill Aunty
I don't know if I'm strong or the pain's been on hold so long I don't know what I'm goin' through exactly
I'm at an age where man I grew up with are havin' heart attacks
I used to worry about arrests, but not a cardiac
I'm two years deep in the gym, now I just gave my bredrin my starter pack
Right now you're in the line waitin' on the rollercoaster of emotions
I'm still rollin' with the punches
I only feel peace when I'm closer to an ocean
Well, well, I manifested my life from a jail cell then I came home and put this whole ting in motion
But I was born with it, that's how long I've had talent
Only see how far I've come when I check my bank balance, it's G