[Verse 1]
It's four in the morning and I'm layin' with my head against the toilet seat
For several days now I've been livin' here, too tired to sleep, too sick to eat
I feel like a monster and it doesn't help that you will treat me like I've got the venom in my teeth

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm the spider in your bathroom
I'm the shadow on the tile
I came for shelter from the cold
And I'd thought I'd stay a while
I'm only small, I'm only weak
And you jump at the sight of me
You'll kill me when I least expect it
God, how could I even think of daring to exist?
Looking just like this, I'm hideous

[Verse 2]
I'm nothing but legs, they used to say
I'm nothing but skin and bones these days
You dangle me high over the drain and tell me I'm lucky you don't drop me there and
Let me wash away
Or put me on display
By trapping me forever between a glass and a dinner plate

[Chorus]
'Cause I'm the spider in your kitchen weaving webs through every year
And I worked real hard on the last one but the last one got me here
I'm minding my own business but my presence makes you curse
I should be getting better but I'm only getting worse
And, God, how dare I even think of choosing here to die?
'Cause then I'm just a problem that you have to take outside
And I know you hate the sight of me, I haunt you when you're fast asleep
I've got eight legs, a million eyes, if only I had eight more lives
'Cause I'm a spider on the ceiling and you're nothing but a guy
You don't like it when I cry, you would break me if you tried
And you will because I dared to be alive