Good morning miss
Can I help you son?
Sixteen today
And up for fun
I'm a big boy now
Or so they say
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

Box of balloons
With the feather-light touch
Pack of party-poppers
That pop in the night
A toothbrush and hairspray
Plastic grin
Miss Clay on all corners
Has just walked in

Welcome to the House of Fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the House of Fun
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the House of

N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
Sixteen big boy
Full pint in my manhood
I'm up to date
And the date's today
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

Welcome to the House of Fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the House of (Fun)

I'm sorry son
But we don't stock
Party gimmicks
In this shop
Try the House of Fun
It's quicker if you run
This is a chemist
Not a jokers' shop!

Party hats
Simple enough clear
Comprehende savvy understand
Do you hear?
A pack of party hats
With the coloured tips
Too late!
Gorgon's heard gossip
Well hello Joe, hello Miss Clay
Many happy returns from the day

Welcome to the House of Fun
Now I've come of age
Welcome to the House of Fun
Welcome to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
Welcome to the House of Fun

Welcome to the House of Fun...