[Verse 1]
Lived on your razor's edge for about a year or so
I came out seeing things, I came out barely alive
And now I roam my room, wince at the thought of you
How you caught me and you're probably doing it again

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, right now, in a dive bar, with a girl so pink
Tell her you never really do this

[Chorus]
And you only drink old fashioneds and it's so attractive
And she's eating it up until the very last call
She thinks you're so magic, it's fucking barbaric
If I could take your glass, I'd throw it hard at the wall
I wish you'd never happened, never happened
I wish you'd never happened

[Verse 2]
I kept your promises until they all grew teeth
Gave me these secret scars I'll probably take to my grave
Meanwhile you swan around and hunt the college towns
Are you out there? Bet you're out there and you're doing it again

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh, right now, in a jazz club, with a girl who blinks
Tell her you never really do this

[Chorus]
And you only drink old fashioneds and it's so attractive
And she's eating it up until the very last call
She thinks you're so magic, it's fucking barbaric
If I could take your glass, I'd throw it hard at the wall
I wish you'd never happened, never happened
I wish you'd never happened
Never happened, I wish you'd never happened
I wish you'd never happened

[Bridge]
You'll find her new, barely a wisdom tooth
And make her think that you can fly
It's all just one pathetic, devastating lie

[Chorus]
Go drink your old fashioned, you think you're so attractive
With your leather jacket and your conman drawl
She thinks you're so magic, I know you're barbaric
I wish your awful hands had never had me at all
You are a false prophet and a fool's promise
One taste of bitter orange and my skin will crawl
You drink your old fashioned, you have 'em all laughing
Wish I could take your glass and throw it hard at the wall
I wish you'd never happened