Stoker is a boy in blue
And he must be the worst
He's a copper!
Stoker someday he'll get you
But you won't be the first
He's a copper
He's a police constable
That makes us feel uncomfortable
He's a copper
No more football in the street
Or neckin with your girlfriend
Stoker's on the beat again...

[Chorus:]
He's a Bobby he's a joker
He's a Bobby we want dead
He's a Bobby, P.C. Stoker why
Can't we have a decent copper
Proper copper instead?

Stoker loves to see a fight
He really goes to town
He's a copper
Stoker's smiling with delight
He's took somebody down
He's a copper
He'll prove you guilty in the court
You'll wish that you had never fought
A copper
Don't cry or shout or scream or yell
There's nothing you can do
When Stoker's in the cell with you

[Chorus]

The United Team supporters
Have invaded the pitch
That's P.C. Stoker's quaters so
He finds his talky switch
I need some help down here boys
There's punks and skinheads too
And we all hate P.C. Stoker &
We hate the boys in blue.

Stoker's rather fed up coz
There's no one else to nick
He's a copper
Someone soon will kick his head in
Just you wait n'see
It needs somebody tough
Coz we've all had enough
Yes it needs somebody tough
But I think it won't be me

[Chorus]