(Ron & Russell Mael)
That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
A little change in character, pretending to be drunk
You think I am weak and feeble
You think I'm a bore
When you drag me to a party
Soon I'm out the door
Next time I'll portray a suave sophisticated hunk
That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk

That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk
A bit of "I have lived and loved", I'm pretending to be drunk
You say I could use some swagger
You say toughen up
I am rigid as a board
You tell me loosen up
I'm so loose and I'm so tough
That I can barely move
That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk

You notice a transformation, pretending to be drunk
I've lost all my inhibitions, pretending to be drunk
You an take me to the soiree
And be proud of me
Everyone will be impressed
I'll pas out on you knee
Now I am so continental, they think that it's nice
Think I'll pretend to be drunk for the rest of my life

That is what I had intended, pretending to be drunk