{520}{562}Announcer:|Ladies and gentlemen,
{565}{651}Please welcome|Robin Williams!
{1013}{1062}No!
{1065}{1141}Please.
{1248}{1300}Sit down!
{1303}{1352}Thank you!
{1381}{1423}Thank you!
{1426}{1489}What's up, D. C?
{1543}{1619}Yes, indeed!|Yes, indeed!
{1676}{1741}Wow, thank you.
{1861}{1935}Thank you. Please,|I've had heart surgery.
{1938}{2019}Thank you.
{2022}{2106}It's nice to be in Washington,|where the buck stops here.
{2109}{2157}Way to go.
{2161}{2214}And then it's|handed out to A. I. G.
{2217}{2273}And many other people.|Now...
{2276}{2345}I have the new|Timothy Geithner $20-bill.
{2348}{2406}It's just been printed,|kind of neat.
{2409}{2453}Instead of|"in god we trust,"
{2457}{2515}It just says|"trust me. "
{2555}{2629}And it says|"spend before Tuesday. "
{2664}{2714}And also|instead of Andrew Jackson,
{2718}{2780}It has the little man|from monopoly going...
{2859}{2908}And I know many of you|have been looking
{2911}{2961}For Sarach Palin's book.|It is a bitch to find.
{2964}{3023}Good luck.
{3026}{3098}I found it somewhere between|fiction and non-fiction
{3101}{3163}In the fantasy aisle.
{3197}{3243}It was kind of fun.
{3248}{3309}Wonderful.
{3375}{3455}Do you get... Do you get the|feeling with Sarach Palin,
{3458}{3535}In high school she was voted|least likely to write a book
{3539}{3586}And most likely to burn one?
{3590}{3638}Do you think|that might've been...
{3641}{3710}She's pretty wild.|Baby, I love her.
{3746}{3816}And also, Oprach...|Oprach has retired...
{3820}{3889}Is gonna retire her show.|Please say it isn't so!
{3892}{3955}Oprah's gonna|retire her show.
{3958}{4026}I hope she's not bummed out|about losing the Olympics.
{4029}{4095}I hope that's not it.
{4098}{4146}It wasn't really fair.
{4149}{4192}Chicago sent|Oprach and Michelle,
{4195}{4277}Brazil sent 50 strippers|and a pound of blow.
{4311}{4368}It's like, what?
{4435}{4502}Do you think the Olympic|committee was going
{4506}{4592}"Oprach? Shaved pussy?
{4675}{4787}Oprach, would you... Okay, we're|gonna have to go this way. "
{4791}{4861}And who the fuck thinks
{4864}{4927}That Rio is safer|than Chicago?
{4931}{4982}My God.|They're gonna have to make
{4985}{5053}Kidnapping and waxing|Olympic events.
{5112}{5195}Degree of difficulty: 5.3.
{5281}{5366}But it is interesting. They have|the Winter Olympics in Vancouver
{5369}{5432}And the torch is heading|across Canada right now
{5435}{5497}And already in B. C.|They're lighting torches going...
{5500}{5573}"we're waiting. "
{5577}{5628}Come on, you folks who|just came from Capitol Hill.
{5631}{5674}Come on down.|Where do you go?
{5677}{5736}How are you, my friends?|Grab some seats.
{5739}{5805}You were caught in...
{5809}{5845}What?
{5849}{5958}That's your old boss?
{5961}{6045}Did you fuck him?
{6129}{6180}Sorry. Okay.
{6245}{6331}Not an inappropriate|question to ask in Washington.
{6377}{6466}No. And he's|going, "no! No!
{6469}{6535}She was just a page,|it's okay!"