What's the thing that they's talkin' about everywhere
SEX
When they wanna be suave 'n' debonair
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What's poppin' up the most from coast to coast
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At yer bongo party an1 yer weenie roast
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Even them Christians who are born again
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Go out 'n' get pooched every now 'n' then
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Do ya do or don't ya don't
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Bet yer lyin' if ya say ya won't
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Some girls try it 'n' go on a diet
Then they worry 'cause they's too fat
Who wants t'ride on an ironin' board?
That ain't no fun ... I tried me one

Grow that meat all over yer bones
Work the wall with the local Jones
'N' while you do it, remember this line
The Sniffer says it all the time

"THE BIGGER THE CUSHION,
THE BETTER THE PUSHIN
THE BIGGER THE CUSHION,
THE BETTER THE PUSHIN'
THE BIGGER THE CUSHION,
THE BETTER THE PUSHIN'
THE BIGGER THE CUSHION ..."

Makes no difference if you're young or old
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Don't you act like it's made of gold
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Ladies they need it just like the guys
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Maybe you could use a protein surprise
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Any time, anywhere
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Why d'ya think it's growin' there
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Some girls try it 'n' they don't like it
They complain 'cause it don't last
Who wants to ride on a debutante?
They talks too much... they moves too fast

Whatch the scenery while you ride
You can be very warm inside
'N when the train goes 'round the bend
Check the shrub'ry on the other end

"THE BIGGER THE CUSHION,
THE BETTER THE PUSHIN
THE BIGGER THE CUSHION,
THE BETTER THE PUSHIN'
THE BIGGER THE CUSHION,
THE BETTER THE PUSHIN'
THE BIGGER THE CUSHION ..."