(Ron & Russell Mael)
When I spot a driver worth a second glance
Foot to floorboard, impact soon achieved
Here comes Bob, I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends
Girl this rubbled mess was caused by my neglect
Of course I'll pay and by the way my dear
Here comes Bob
I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends

But here comes Bob
Sometimes I will stoop to hitting two-door coupes without the frills
But that is just for casual acquaintances, for stripped-down thrills
Your car girl or mine it doesn't matter doesn't matter no
But for affairs with staying power I go after limousines
It's always nice when something big is acting as your go-between
For a group encounter I'll hit busses, mobile homes or trains to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

It's hard to make acquaintances in our big town
Most eyes stare at nothing much at all
But here comes Bob
I ain't subtle in my ways of making friends, friends, acquaintances

Instant adulation comes to some at birth
Born to queens or corporate entities
But here comes Bob
Someday they'll put me away
I'll think back on active days
Most were worth the minor scars
Some were worth the damaged cars
And the judge will say to me
"Bob, You've got a bad means to a worthwhile end"

An end

Well, here comes Bob