(Parody of Walk On the Wild Side by Lou Reed)


Man, you would not believe what happened to me the other day. I'm telling you. It's unbelievable, man. Me and somebodies were getting together, you know. Hanging around in Chico's car. We decided to get' Wait. I will tell you, but listen. Here's what happened, ok.

Pedro wanted to move to East LA
And he smuggled his friends across to the USA
He ran a roadblock on the way
Hit the gas and we started to flee
He said 'Hey man,
Let's lead the cops on a wild ride.'
I said 'Hey man,
Let's ditch the truck down a riverside.'

Aight. You know? I mean is seemed like a pretty good idea at the time, you know.

'Pull over so we can beat you senseless.'

Captain must've needed a vacation
He bottles up his tensions and frustrations
He took batting practice on our heads
He must've got up on the wrong side of the bed
I said, 'Ow man!'
I took a whack on the backside, ya know?
He said, 'Hey Chico,
Here's a whack from the US side.'
Then he pinned me down with his boot b-boot boot b-boot boot
His boot his boot his big black boot
You know, with the heel on it and he ground it into my back and stuff.
I said, 'Ow man
Ease up a little ok.

'Don't shoot man.

'Hey does this look like I'm resisting arrest to you? I mean lets talk about it.

'I mean how much more down on the ground do got to get, you know? Geez, I'm halfway to China now, man.'

Yeah but then this really' Something really screwy happened. Check this out.

Pedro was making his break between the trees
And I was taking a nightstick across the knees
Hey, but they caught it all on video
And now it's gonna cost 'em a lot of dough, man
I said, 'See?
I got a whack on the US side.'
I said, 'Hey Mr. Cameraman
Get a shot of my good side, huh.'
So that way I can sue, s-sue, s-sue
Hey I'm gonna sue
I'm gonna get a lot of money
It is like I'm winning the lotto, you know
Hey they should have learned from the last guy
Rodney King! Rodney King! Rodney King, man! You know?
'Hey, can't we all just get along, you know? Is this too much to ask?

'Ow man! Ease up a little bit, ok. Geez man! What, do they send you to school for that stuff man?

'You know you should play for the Dodgers, man. They could use a guy with a swing like that.

'Hey, does anybody got Johnny Cochran's phone number, man? Yeah, I'll take Shapiro's it don't matter'