Now I stutter, now I dribble
Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
The decline and fall of me

I just shaved my nose off, oh well
Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
The decline and fall of me

If I had a hammer I would drop it and break it
Look at the pieces
Now I've got a hobby, I collect frozen pizzas
Check out my pizzas

Now your jokes seem really funny
Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
The decline and fall of me

Where's my mouth, man, this eating is rough on the shirts
Gee, I'm sorry about the thermometer, nurse
Would you tell me again, which are girls, which are guys
Gee, I thought that this finger meant so long, goodbye

Chart position, bubbling under, drowning
And goodbye future Mrs. Mael, Mael
The decline and fall, decline and fall, decline and fall of me

I'm fading away
I'm fading away
I'm fading away