Well I'm the man with the scam
And though I've never sewn a stitch
I've stumbled onto something
Guaranteed to make me rich
All I gotta do is fool one imperial nitwit

You'll never not see clothes
Like you won't see those
Every inch of stitchin' missin'
From your hat to your hose
And if one of those hose
Happens to have a hole in it
It's not as if anybody's
Gonna notice when it's

The Emperor's Clothes
Are fine
You'll never see nothing finer
Nothin' like those
So right
That you'll never see the like, the like

Well I just got into town
I took a quick look around
I heard you needed a suit
Opportunity found
'Cause I'm the man that you need
I'm gonna make you some tweeds
I'm gonna make 'em so they're
Magical, beautiful, that's irrefutable now

Well only Philistines
Could look upon these things
From the Teddy Bear pajamas
To the nipple rings
And not agree with me
This is a suit like no other

They're gonna gape and gawk
They're gonna stammer and stare
'Cause the fabric's so fine
It's like it's not even there
You're gonna give 'em a thrill
They're never gonna get over
If I make it through this
I'm gonna be in clover

The Emperor's Clothes
Are right!
You'll never see nothing righter
So overexposed
So right
That you'll never see the light, the light

Well today's the day
I'm gonna make my play
I'm takin' my creation to the center stage
And I might lose a little
But I just might win big

You got the heads of the SLA, the NRA
The Sendero Luminoso, and the CIA
At least one of every other kind of
Hot shot and bigwig
They're all comin' down
They're gonna meet at the shindig

In The Emperor's Clothes
All right!
You'll never see nothing finer
Nothin' like those
So fine
That you'll never see the like
Of The Emperor's Clothes
All right!
That you'll never see the like, the like