Whiskey Man's my friend, he's with me nearly all the time
He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine

Nobody has ever seen him, I'm the only one
Seemingly I must be mad, Insanity is fun
If that's the way it's done

Doctors say he just a figment of my twisted mind
If they can't see my Whiskey Man they must be going blind

Two men dressed in white collected me two days ago
They said there's only room for one and Whiskey Man can't go

Whiskey Man will waste away if he's left on his own
I can't even ring him 'cause he isn't on the phone
Hasn't got a home

Life is very gloomy in my little padded cell
It's a shame there wasn't room for Whiskey Man as well

Whiskey Man's my friend, he's with me nearly all the time
He always joins me when I drink, and we get on just fine
Just fine