The Inalienable Rights Scene [from Monty Python's "Life Of Brian"]

(A huge Roman amphitheatre sparsely attended. REG, FRANCIS, STAN and JUDITH
are seated in the stands. They speak conspiratorially.)

JUDITH
... Any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must *reflect* such a divergence
of interests within its power-base.
REG
Agreed.
(General nodding.)
Francis?
FRANCIS
I think Judith's point of view is valid here, Reg, provided the Movement
never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man ...
STAN
Or woman.
FRANCIS
Or woman ... to rid himself ...
STAN
Or herself.
REG
Or herself. Agreed. Thank you, brother.
STAN
Or sister.
FRANCIS
Thank you, brother. Or sister. Where was I?
REG
I thought you'd finished.
FRANCIS
Oh, did I? Right.
REG
Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man ...
STAN
Or woman.
REG
Why don't you shut up about women, Stan, you're putting us off.
STAN
Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.
FRANCIS
Why are you always on about women, Stan?
STAN
... I want to be one.
REG
... What?
STAN
I want to be a woman. From now on I want you all to call me Loretta.
REG
What!?
STAN
It's my right as a man.
JUDITH
Why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?
STAN
I want to have babies.
REG
You want to have babies?!?!?!
STAN
It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
REG
But you can't have babies.
STAN
Don't you oppress me.
REG
I'm not oppressing you, Stan -- you haven't got a womb. Where's the
fetus going to gestate? You going to keep it in a box?
(STAN starts crying.)
JUDITH
Here! I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have
babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans',
but that he can have the *right* to have babies.
FRANCIS
Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have
babies, brother. Sister, sorry.
REG
What's the point?
FRANCIS
What?
REG
What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't
have babies?
FRANCIS
It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
REG
It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.