Let me tell you a story about an ugly woman I know

"Hello, girls!"
"Hello, Tobi, you hot little machine!!!"

I'm a sight for sore eyes
Oh, if your eyes would only see
I've been born on tiptoe
Still you looked like a lighthouse next to me

You pet-named me Napoleon
I was proud till I got the reason why , why
Never aimed for confrontation
You've been sleeping when I kissed your ass goodbye

Oh, while you read this letter
I'd just gone to eat out
By the way

My, what a sunshine in Trinidad
Hope you're okay lightyears away
My, what a heat wave in Trinidad
Hope you don't mind if I stay

Pitcher goes too often to the well
And now the pitcher's gone insane, ratatatata
Gotta run away, boiling over, getting hell
And found the answer on a plane
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Oh, I've been pissing off
Before you might could have pissed me off
I hope you're fine, yeah

My, what a sunshine in Trinidad
Mind if you stay, I do okay
My, what heatwave in Trinidad
Sunburnt a nightflight away

"Honey you're looking good so far away from me
The weather is great, the beach is great, the food is great
Everything is great and you're so far away, I love you honey
Greetings from Trinidad, hey!

My, what a sunshine in Trinidad
Mind if you stay, I do okay
My, what a heatwave in Trinidad
Sunburnt a nightflight away, hey

My, what a sunshine in Trinidad
Mind if you stay, I do okay
My, what a heatwave in Trinidad
Sunburnt a nightflight away, hey

"Oh, I'm not only a singer in a band, you know
Back and home in Germany I was a famous porn star, hahaha."